Bionic Teutonic

Ariel and I just got back from my step-mother’s memorial service. It was a very strange thing to have to attend. It’s very strange to think of somebody who has been part of your life for that long in the past tense. My brain has not quite made the shift yet, so it felt a bit surreal to have her death be made official in that way. I’ve been thinking a lot about her life, my life, what people do with their lives, etc. As a little exercise, I’ve come up with a list of 50 things that I have always wanted to do (and have not yet accomplished). I’m sure there is more to add if I thought about it more, but I figure 50 is a good number to put down on paper (virtual as it is). If anybody is interested in doing any of these with me, let me know and we will see about making it happen!

1. Release an album
2. Become a yoga teacher
3. Work in a soup kitchen
4. Go to cooking school
5. Ride in a hot air balloon (jump out of one?)
6. Study Flamenco in Spain
7. Ride a camel
8. Swim with dolphins
9. Have a child and raise it well
10. Join a circus
11. Speak 6 languages
12. Write a book
13. Go to a Man United match
14. One handed hand stand
15. Paint
16. Have a photography show
17. Name a star after somebody I love
18. Live in Europe again
19. Take my kid on a bike trip around the Bodensee
20. Be able to do the front splits
21. Climb a big wall in Yosemite
22. Have an orchard/ vinyerd and sell the produce
23. Ride a double decker bus in London
24. Take part in an archeology dig
25. Do aid work in Africa
26. Hike the Grand Canyon
27. Learn what all the cloud formations are named
28. Run a marathon
29. Research my ancestry
30. Busk my way around Europe
31. Get to know a homeless person
32. Dance around a maypole
33. Hop a train
34. Spend a night in jail
35. Visit Jerusalem
36. Go caving (spelunking)
37. Study tabla in India
38. Learn to knit
39. Bike across the U.S.
40. Paraglide
41. Spend a day riding around with a cop
42. Open a swiss bank account
43. Party at Stonehenge
44. Scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef (before it disappears)
45. Learn to walk on stilts
46. Get my CPR certification
47. Learn to ride a unicycle
48. Watch the space shuttle take off
49. See the northern lights in Alaska
50. Die gracefully

Twice now this week, in totally separate meetings, with totally different people, the subject of documenting process has come up with somebody mentioning that it’s the ‘what if you get hit by a bus and we have to carry on without you’ scenario, and somebody else responding that it’s really the ‘what if I win the lottery’ scenario and everybody else nodding in agreement. First of all - how weird is that, that the exact same conversation would come up twice in one week almost verbatim and second, it got me thinking about what kind of job is indicated by each scenario. The ‘what if I win the lottery’ scenario seems to indicate that really, we are only here for the money and given the chance, none of us would be doing this, whereas the ‘what if I get hit by a bus’ scenario indicates that we’d have to be dead for us not to do this work. So in a perverse way, the fact that you would think of the worst thing that could happen indicates a kick-ass job that you love and is a calling, while thinking of the best possible thing that could happen indicates that you are sort of miserable. Someday, I hope that I have a worst case scenario job.

Check it out: Circus performers have their own patron saint! Saint Julian the Hospitator. Nice. The story is a little grim (although redeeming) and we have to share him with ferrymen and innkeepers, but I’ll take it. Next time I’m in Paris, I’ll have to visit the church.

On my way from work yesterday, a woman working at a LaRouche booth asked as I walked by “Do you have an extra pair of testicles?”, followed, after my completely baffled stare with “because the democrats seem to have lost theirs.”

Last evening I had this strange experience where, for a fraction of a second, my sense of self was that of me as a 12 (or so) year old. My brain sort of snapped back to my current 30-year old self and was actually disoriented at the disconnect for a second. It was sort of like time was maleable for a brief point in time and I wasn’t living linearly. It’s strange, because while I think back to being a kid sometimes and look back on memories, etc. I tend to forget what it actually felt like on a visceral level. But for that split second, I felt it completely.

I went and got my haircut yesterday, and I’ve come to the realization that I am a bad salon conversationalist. I have never stuck with any one hairstylist (what are they called these days anyway?), so every time I get my haircut, it’s a total stranger and I never really know what to talk about. Other people seem to become instant best friends with their hairstylist and I kind of envy that, but for me, it’s about as awkward as I get socially. This stranger has to be close to my head for half an hour, so conversation seems reasonable but they are kind of in the middle of doing their job and everything I say ends up feeling forced. Yesterday my hairdresser apologized for being quiet at one point saying “sometimes I just get so into what I’m doing”, as if that were a bad thing. Which then made me feel weird like maybe I wasn’t being conversant enough. Sometimes I think I go so long in-between getting my hair cut because I’m avoiding having to think of things to talk about with my hairstylist.

I got the oddest e-mail this morning from one Andreas Fetz. It looks like he was trying to forward a presentation to himself and at first I thought it was some spam because of the attachment, but his e-mail signature had all his work information in it, so I went and looked him up. Looks like he works for a food company in Germany as an e-mail marketer. Oddly parallel to my marketing job. I’m totally curious. I wrote back saying I thought I was the wrong Andreas Fetz. I hope he responds.

Update:  He wrote back! I’m now in contact with the other Andreas Fetz. Sounds like his family is from Austria, so we are probably not related. We’re both curious though and have been exchanging some info. I was right about the fact that he was trying to send himself an e-mail. He just switched around the e-mail address.