Bionic Teutonic

Have not posted in quite a while, but a lot has happened in the interim. Biggest change is that in late October, I was laid off from my job. This was the second round of layoffs at my company and I was one of 10 people let go. A bunch of other folks were transitioned into hourly employees, which is even worse, because there just wasn’t much work coming in. Being laid off at least means that I get unemployment and an (albeit small) severance check. I freaked out for a couple of days about my finances and having no income, but I’ve since come around to feeling like this was a good shove in the direction I wanted to go anyway. I had my NSCA personal training exam scheduled for two weeks after I was laid off (which I passed! more on that later), and I’m really trying to dive into my yoga teacher training. I’ve wanted a career shift to something more in line with my passions for a while, and this feels like the beginning of it. Luckily, I’ve already started getting some yoga teaching opportunities (thanks to random facebook postings actually) and I’m feeling quite optimistic. The search for a personal training position at a gym is still ongoing, but I’m working on that one as well. In the meantime, I’ve been doing a ton of yoga, meditating every day, studying as much as possible, and trying to hustle for new opportunities. Changes like this can be nerve-wracking but ultimately freeing as well. So fingers crossed.

The NSCA personal training exam was damn hard. I’d been studying for the last 4 or 5 months, and felt like I had the textbook pretty well learned. I’ve done enough studying for classes to know when I feel like I have a grasp on the materials. I hadn’t taken a practice exam, but wasn’t all that worried. The week before the test, I had gotten several calls though about people who had not passed, and some recommendations on the subject areas that I really needed to know. I went in and took the test and right away they were showing video (I’d only studied the textbook) and asking to analyze technique and what not. So a completely different format that I was used to. And although multiple choice, the answers were often a+c, or b+d, so it was hard to work with a process of elimination. I flew on through, trying as much as possible not to second guess myself and just trust my first instincts, but was very unsure after I got out. I still had to get my CPR certification (not scheduled until the week after) before they would release my score also, so I had no idea how I did when I was done. I went home and did a little research and found out that only 56% of people pass the test on their first try. The CPR class was kind of fun, and honestly, I’ve always been a little embarrassed that I didn’t know how to do some basic first aid (it was even on my list of 50 things to do. Check!). I finally got my results back and passed with some room to spare! So there you go. No worrying necessary (though I seem to worry at odd times as I get older. Not sure what that’s about. I used to be so laid back, probably to a fault).

I’ve been doing very little music lately, though I’ve been thinking about it a lot and am going to try and consciously set aside some real time for it, as I seem to have plenty of time right now. The biggest bummer about being laid off was really that we had a big trip to Buenos Aires planned (we were supposed to be there right now), but the layoff happened two weeks before we were supposed to go and the timing just didn’t feel right. Alaska was really great though and refunded all of our miles and when they found out we were not going because of a layoff, even waived all of the fees, which totally reinforces my customer loyalty. I was really looking forward to that trip though, so Ariel and I are going to try and do it next year maybe.

Overall, I’m feeling like my life needed to change a bit, and the layoff was the Universe’s way of shoving me off the fence. It wasn’t quite on my planned timeline or budget goals, but whatever. I was pretty miserable at that job, and am now excited about new beginnings. I have a shitload to learn and lots of new challenges, but this is how we grow. So march forth.

Summer is finally here. I feel like I’m on the beginning edge of getting some normalcy back in my life. I’ve been trying to follow up on all the little changes I have planned while at the same time getting back to all the routines I’m trying to maintain (but have all fallen to the side lately). I went to yoga during lunch for the first time in what felt like ages and am just trying to get a little bit of a groove back in my day-to-day. I’m feeling optimistic. We started populating our new shelves yesterday and am super excited about that. I just applied for a yoga teacher training starting this fall and am really excited about that possibility (still need to be accepted). I’ve also come to some decisions about work and sticking it out for a bit that seems to have lifted some of my stress for now. I’m ready for summer.

I have had the worst back pain for the last week or so. I believe I injured it during aerials two weeks ago, but it didn’t really start hurting until several days after that, and since then, the muscles of my back have tensed up so much that I have only managed brief pain free moments. Strangely, working out seems to provide relief, at least for the duration of the exercise. I got a massage from my friend Lily this weekend and she went to town trying to loosen up the knots that have formed in my back, which bought me almost an entire evening without pain, but then it started to come back and has basically returned to it’s previous state. It sucks. I hate being in chronic pain. I went to the doctor yesterday though and got a perscription for massage, so I’m kind of stoked about that. Free massage! Nice. I also had him check out my finger which still has not healed. He told me he did pretty much the same thing to his finger in a biking accident and it was about a 6 month long healing process, which is nice because I was a little freaked out that it had been so long and I wasn’t seeing much improvement.

Holy crap, it’s been a while since I last posted. Lots of stuff going on, including at the moment a pretty nasty flu that has had me laid out for the last 4 days. I’m really not looking forward to going back to work in the morning. Let’s see – not sure where to even start. My life of late has been pretty work intensive, most of it pretty stressful and anxiety inducing, which I either need to figure out how to deal with or make some moves in a different direction work-wise. I’ve told myself I’m giving it at least a year, though that seems very manageable or very daunting depending on the day. Week before last, I did get to go to Chicago for work, which was actually great (if a little confusing*). My mom and her partner Susan drove from Iowa to meet me there for the weekend, so we got to wander the city, going to museums and going out for dinner and such. Chicago was cold as hell (when frozen) but it was great to visit anyway. It was also my mom’s birthday so that worked out really well. I just got a new camera (a Canon digital rebel) so I took a ton of pictures, though I keep getting thwarted trying to get a copy of photoshop so I can edit and post them. Soon.

*Being in Chicago on business was sort of like inhabiting an alternate reality where my all of a sudden, I’m living somebody else’s life (and you may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful house…. how did I get here?). I had a few moments of disbelief that somehow, this is now something I do. I’m still very unsure about it, and it throws me pretty regularly.

My step-mother Sallie is finally back home in Missoula after a 7 week hospital stay. My dad lived out of a hotel that whole time. Nobody was expecting it to take that long, but she seems to be doing well and is steadily improving. I’ll be seeing her in a little over a month, when I go back home for my sister’s baby shower, and apparently, an Elton John concert (Sallie is pretty much the world’s biggest Elton John fan). My sister seems to be settling into her life in Missoula incredibly well. She has taken over the family store, is having a kid, has a boyfriend that people actually like, and just seems to be maturing on a lot of levels, which makes me happy. She turned a year older yesterday

Music has been a little slow lately. I have been otherwise engaged most of my evenings and the weekends seem to go by with only a couple hours spent on it, though hopefully that will free up a bit soon. I’m trying to only make big plans one out of every four weekends of the month. I have a trip to Mt. Bachelor coming up to go snowboarding with a bunch of friends, I’ll be going to Montana for the baby-shower, and Ariel and I have a couple of other trips in the work, but for those other weekends I’m planning on making as much of a racket as possible (a beautiful racket that is).

Went back to Spokane last weekend to visit my step-mother. Glad to report she looks much better and on the road to recovery. She still seems very uncomfortable and in some pain, but the life has returned to her face and she seems to be improving. I found it a little hard to be around somebody in discomfort like that and not really be able to do anything to help. I felt like I was just observing at times, not sure how to be of assistance. My (and the family’s) hopes seem to be up though, so that’s good. I feel like my life is starting to return to normal.

The last few days we have been waking up to construction workers downstairs. I think my feelings towards them are moving from irritation to loathing. I do not understand why they must keep the hours of a baker. It doesn’t make any sense to me. Ariel looked up the law too, and as long as they are not doing “impactful” work (i.e. hammering), and they are inside, they are free to start as early as they want. Sucks.

Watched a great movie last night called Paris je t’aime. It’s a collection of 5 minute shorts all set in Paris. It was awesome. The film short is a vastly under-appreciated art form I think. And unless you go to film festivals and specifically go to the short film showings, you never really come across any. I’m going to have to do some research and find some more.

It has been a rough couple of weeks here in my world. Haven’t posted much due to a bunch of heavy life concerns getting in the way. Sometimes the world hits you with a bunch of stuff all at once. Several old family friends have died recently and my step-mother is recovering from some serious surgery at the moment which scared the whole family for a bit. I dropped everything last Wednesday to go to Spokane to be with my family through the ordeal. Good news is that she appears to be doing better every day and the latest prognosis looks decent. I did manage to work from the road while I was in Spokane and it made me realize that for the most part, I don’t need to be in the office at all. My work day wasn’t really that different from being in the office. A computer and a phone and I’m set. Offices are SO 20th century.

Given how life has been the last 2 weeks, really all I’ve wanted to do lately is sit around with Ariel and watch our latest TV series obsession, which thanks to our friend Joriel who has the whole series on DVD, is Buffy. So far, it’s only pretty good, but everybody we talk to says it really picks up after the second season and finds it’s legs, so we are sticking with it.  I’ve been having computer program issues lately so music hasn’t been happening as of late. I did manage to install (after much difficulty) the latest mac OS and I should have my music software up and running again next week so I hope to get back into a groove soon. Computers, for making your life easier, sure make it hard sometimes.