Bionic Teutonic

Last Wednesday, my wife and I had a little baby boy. Octavian Orion Fetz Stallings (tavi for short) was born at 4:41pm and weighed 8lbs 7oz. He was breech during the entire pregnancy so we ended up having to do a planned cesarean at Swedish hospital, but it went smoothly and now we are back home settled into our place.

So far, things have gone really well. Ariel is recovering quickly and though still a little slow, we have been getting out for daily walks with Tavi and our dog Sassafrass, which has been great. He sleeps like a champ so far, which means that we have been avoiding the dreaded sleep deprivation, at least for now. He is tiny and cute and healthy as can be, which is really all you can ask for.

I’m just at the very beginning of this adventure, but my life has opened up in so many ways already. My heart feels like it opened up a huge new space for him to settle in to. It’s crazy how natural that feels. I’ve known him for all of 4 days and already I feel so connected to the little guy. I would pretty much do anything for him at this point.

There are so many thoughts swirling in my brain about being a new parenthood, about the miracle of life, and my little boy specifically that it’s hard to even know how to write about it. There is all the little logistical stuff that changes, but more than that, the shift in outlook has been huge. My hopes and desires are now tied up with this little being that is just at the cusp of his life. Not that I don’t have my own, but they all need to be inclusive of him and the support he will need.

One of the changes is just how present I feel. I try and cultivate that through yoga, meditation, and just reminding myself to be present, but I get distracted with all sorts of things during the course of a normal day. The mind veers off on tangents and it’s hard to stay in the moment as much as I would like. This past week though has been nothing but me being in the moment. I don’t want to miss any of it. All the little things that he does, all the little explorations of this new world that he has already begun. And I can only hope that I can continue to be this present after the newness of parenthood wears off.

I’m sure that I will have tons more to say in the coming months, but for now, I’m just thankful for a healthy boy, that both Ariel and I are in such a great place to welcome him into the world, for our amazing group of friends who have been supporting us, and for much more. Couldn’t have asked for a better Thanksgiving than this one.