Bionic Teutonic

Damn, it’s been a busy week. We just bought a condo up on Capitol Hill, so aside from all the paperwork, inspection, etc. this means that we are putting our house on the market on Friday. This makes me very nervous. I have never sold a house before and it feels like a big deal. We have been scrambling like crazy to get it ready - doing all the gardening and weeding that I haven’t done since last year. Planting some flowers in the yard to give it some color. Staging all of the rooms so they are devoid of any personal imprint (which results in some bland, but apparently appropriate rooms that we have to live in until the house is sold). On top of all of that, we have our summer camp-out next weekend and Shambhala the weekend after, both of which take some thinking about. Plus, I’ve actually been fully busy at work the last week, which is odd. I normally have some downtime where I poke around on the Internet, answer e-mails, etc. but not this week (although I am posting this from work, so I guess I have some time to spare)

All that being said, I’m excited about making some changes. Way back when I got back from Bali, I decided that some of the specifics of my life were not how I wanted them to be. The living situation was only one of those changes, and it’s taken quite a while, but I feel like I/we are doing the right thing for the way we want to live. Being back in a neighborhood that I feel connected to, that I have friends in, etc. will be really nice. The condo itself won’t be done until end of August (it’s a conversion) and I’m really hoping that we have sold our house by then. The idea of paying two mortgages, even if only for a month or two, is not appealing. I’m trying to remember that even the worst case scenarios aren’t really that bad. We will be fine in the end. The prospect of things lingering just feels kind of daunting.

Today I turned 31. Thanks to all my friends who came out and celebrated with me. I am glad to have such a great group of people around me. While your birthday is supposed to be all about you, I’ve found that today, I’m just appreciating all the great things in my life. I think my 30’s are going to be a good decade.

I’ve been thinking about being an adult lately. I really have no idea what it means to be an adult. I’ve rejected the notion most of my life simply because I’ve associated it with losing your childhood sense of wonder and playfulness, which I never want to happen. But then again, I find myself pretending to be adult-like in much of my life out of simple necessity, and not all of that is bad. Having a job, owning my own house, not being overly prone to drama, etc. I just haven’t fully figured out how to separate the good from the bad consistently and in a way where I still embody the kid in me and the adult I am somehow becoming. Yesterday I was at lunch looking around at all the people scurrying to and from work, having adult-like conversations and doing adult-like things and thinking that each one of these people is really just a large kid behaving as if they were an adult. It’s like the muppet babies but in reverse. The hypothetical in that show was always “what if the muppets were all babies?” whereas in real life the hypothetical is “what if all these kids were adults?” The strange thing is that when I thought about the people I was watching in that way, it made me feel quite connected to them somehow. Like we are all just doing our best at this adulthood thing. I just hope that each one of them has found a place where they can toss off all their clothing and run through the sprinkle

This morning, I shadowed a nurse practitioner that I know in the first of my explorations into possible future medical careers. I know I would like to be involved in medicine in some way or another, and it was great to get the first insight into what one job might look like. Totally fascinating. I definitely came out of it with the sense that I could be really happy and fulfilled doing what she does. The clinic she works for seems like it is in a pretty unique and ideal situation funding, community, and outlook wise, and it was good to see that after some of the horror stories you hear about the medical industry in the U.S. It also made me want to shadow somewhere where I could see all the bad parts of the industry I might have to deal with, just so I don’t get an overly rosy picture. As a nurse practitioner, she pretty much functioned as I’m used to doctors functioning. She saw and diagnosed patients, had her own group of kids for whom she was their main care provider, wrote out prescriptions, etc. I’m used to thinking of nurses in a more supportive role, but that certainly wasn’t the case with her, so that was good to see. It was great just to go and observe and it left me feeling even more like medicine would be a good fit for me.

Ariel and I got back two days ago from an (almost) week long trip to visit both sides of my family in Montana at Flathead Lake. We normally just head out to see my mom and my mom’s partner at their cabin during the summer, but this year, I wanted to go visit with my stepmother who just got free and clear of cancer, and to time the trip so I could see my brother and sister as well. Originally, we were going to go to Wildhorse Island (where my mom’s cabin is) first, but due to a dog emergency on my mom’s part had to switch the weekend we were going. I haven’t been to my dad’s cabin in a long time, and while it was great to see everybody I’m glad we switched the weekends. They are in this community of cabins that all shares a dock and boat slips and plenty of conversation, so not the most private of places, and I tend to crave my privacy when heading to the lake. We did a little sailing though, which was nice, and I managed to get in some yoga every morning. Wildhorse was fantastic as always, apart from the record breaking July heat, which was almost incapacitating at times. Didn’t matter though. We played lots of cribbage, ate good food, jumped off my mom’s new dock, and read books. I officially relaxed.

4th of July: I’ve decided this is a disturbing holiday. We went to go watch some of the fireworks from the boat, and the lake being on a reservation and all, the fireworks were pretty impressive, but the whole time it sounds like gunshots and explosions. I realize that’s kind of the point, but are we really supposed to be celebrating this? As we speak, these same sounds strike mortal fear into thousands of people overseas and somehow we are all supposed to cheer and enjoy the pretty colors? It just strikes me as cold-hearted, especially during wartime, to be pretending that battle has reached these shores, while it actually has for many others. Perhaps if we viewed the whole thing as a cautionary tale, like “This is what would happen if Canada invaded. We better make sure we stay friends with Canada.” (although I’m sure that’s not the lesson most americans would derive)

We did not end up getting the totally ideal condo we bid on. It ended up going for 50k over asking price! Holy shit. I thought those days in Seattle real estate were supposed to be over, but I guess not. Apparently there were plenty of other people who thought the condo was as ideal as we did. Hopefully we can find something else that comes close without encountering the same amount of competition next time.

Ariel and I are heading out to Montana this evening for a week of hanging out with the family (both sides of my parents, at both of their cabins). It will be nice to get away a bit, although the timing is a little nerve-wracking. We just put an offer down on a condo up on Capitol Hill and the seller is looking at offers on Thursday, right when we are heading out to my mom’s cabin, possibly out of reach. Eek. I think Ariel’s cell phone might work on the island, which is good, because I’m super anxious to know if we are going to get the place. I’m trying not to jinx it by getting too attached to the place, but am failing on that front a bit, as it is a pretty ideal place in so many ways. Our hope is that because it is 4th of July weekend, there won’t have been as many people out looking at places and that we will have less compitition than we otherwise would. I can’t tell you how excited I am about the prospect of moving back to the hill. I won’t have to drive to see friends, to go to the grocery store, go out to get a drink, etc. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.