Happiness
It seems like every year, somebody comes out with a study about happiness as it relates to country of habitation and every year, the Danes seem to come out on top. I’ve always attributed this to a great welfare system that has virtually eliminated homelessness, a healthcare system that provides medicine to anyone who needs it, and a general level of tolerance that has allowed a bunch of anarchists in Christiania to exist for 30 some years (although that may be coming to an end). A study has come out though that pinpoints the source of danish happiness: Low expectations. Ha!
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January 11th, 2007 at 5:00 pm
LOL. The punchline is not exactly what I expected, either.
However, it really does make sense. One of my spiritual living intentions that developed over the last year was to be more Zen in my daily interactions, to be present in the present, to control less, and to make room for the random and serendipitous to happen more. I will not say that I lowered my expectations; rather, I simply gave up having so many expectations and instead focused on the joy of what the world offered me, rather than what I wanted it to offer.
An example of this was the way I went to Burning Man this year. Once on the playa, I refused to make any plans or dates. I committed to nothing and to no one. I did not make any set intention to do any particular thing. Instead, I lived completely in the moment, allowing whatever happened to happen, trusting that the playa would offer me exactly the experiences I was meant to have. And it was fabulous! Having no expectations meant that my hopes and expectations could never be disappointed; instead, I had one amazing adventure after another, never knowing what the next one would be, and delighting at what came my way.
I’ve lived like that most of the time since then. Yes, I’ll make plans, yes I have hopes, but really, I spend a lot more time celebrating the things that come my way that I had no idea were coming.
My friend Stafan looked at me strangely when I told him about giving up expectations. His version? “High expectations, low attachment to the outcome.” I like that too. In any case, the world offers up so much to marvel at on its own, that lowering expectations and appreciating its offerings can be such a blessing.
January 11th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
High hope, low expectations might be my version, perhaps. I don’t know, I’ve been trying to think about expectations as it relates to not letting yourself off the hook with the standards you hold yourself too. I never want to settle (I want the stars, baby!), I just don’t want it to get me down if I don’t what I want. And that is partly outcome vs. the value of a noble attempt. The means are the end, me thinks. Which it sounds like you have very much incorporated into your life.